Women and Sexuality
By: Angela Crum
I am going to be honest, it has taken me a long time to get where I am with my sexuality. For a woman I believe I am more open minded than many other women I know. There is nothing more that I hate is slut shaming and body shaming. It is an completely unnecessary harassment of ones being and one of the worst double standards out there.
I get so many questions on how to be more open minded. I have told others it’s just not like a switch that can be turned on. You need to look inside yourself and be comfortable with yourself 100%. I posted a question in a Facebook group that I am in to all the women. “Why do you think some women are still scared to ask for what they want sexually?” Now let me say the women that answered gave great replies and know what they want and are not afraid to ask for it. Here are some of the replies.
1- Spontaneity, to be taken and ravished. Maybe a little like bondage, get inside your partners fantasies.
2- Why some women put up with NO orgasms. ( I don’t understand why ANYONE would put up with not climaxing at all)
3- How some women still follow fucked up idea that they shouldn’t enjoy sex like men do.
Going through history and seeing how women were treated for just feeling aroused. Thrown into mental institutions, lobotomies, cast upon as if the each open minded woman should wear their own Scarlett Letter. It is the year 2015 soon to be 2016 it should be okay for woman to speak her mind in the ways of her own sexuality, her desires, wants and needs.
I can’t change anyones way of thinking on this subject. I know what I love, like and want and I am lucky to have a partner that listens. I believe in this day and age anyone should be able to say I want my hair pulled, I want to be spanked ect. What is the sense of shaming someone, making them feel so ashamed by their desires. When a guy talks about his latest conquest he gets high fives and a round of drinks. If a woman says anything of the same she is called a whore, slut and easy.
For the woman that will read this, please BE YOU! Get the pleasure you are deserved. If you and your partner can’t have an open conversation maybe it’s time to find someone who you can talk openly with. No-one wants to tell their deep fantasies with only to be laughed at. If it comes to rough play, role play it all should be able to be talked about with open minds, hearts and clear meaning.
When will it be okay to be ourselves, fully? Not looked at like we have committed some type of crime. I am adding a list of questions I have been asked along with my own answers. I hope that this will help some women (maybe even men) out there.
1- How do I just say what I want?- Plan a night together for open conversation. BE HONEST and don’t sugarcoat it. Explain why you want this, if they say no and give an explanation. Be respectful. People have triggers that they might not be ready to talk about. Time is always a good thing.
2- How do I start BDSM?- RESEARCH!!!! Just because you watched a movie with it, or read a book doesn’t mean that you should just dive deep into that. Know your soft and hard limits. Look into what you want and be safe.
3- How do you talk about “the list”?- Does it really matter how many people anyone has slept with?
Don’t keep your desires, thoughts or wants pushed down or hidden. It will only lead to resentment and once that is set in, it only goes downhill from there.
Women or Men, whatever type of relationship that you are in HONESTY is the biggest key. Don’t deny yourself your needs or the needs of your partner. Once it’s all out in the open any relationship can only blossom into something so much more. I believe if you are safe, not hurting yourself or your loved one there should be no limits. I would love to see any questions you might have you can DM at Twitter Cherrydarling13 . ©2015